Social Text Holiday Gift Guide

December 21, 2016

The darkest week has come to an end. Greetings to all on this day of Solstice. Coming up next: the potlatched commodity binge called The Holidays.

The time of the giving.

But who has time to think of other people right now? The empire is crumbling. In the US, people are seeing their Social Security benefits garnished to pay back student loans. Canada, the goody goody of international relations, turns out to be not quite so nice after all. And it just snowed in the Sahara for the first time in forty years.

For readers who need help developing their giving sides, here is the first ever Social Text Online Holiday Gift Guide.

1. The gift of not having to exchange gifts.
Christmas is Capitalism. Refuse to participate.
Tip: This is the way to go with adult siblings and frenemies. In the latter case, just be sure to initiate the conversation about a day or so before you meet for the end-of-year-catch-up date.
Bonus Tip: The gift of not giving also works with spouses.

2. Truth Paste, a revolutionary product for fighting truth decay!

NB: item not yet available.

3. Some Classics

For the opera lover: Boris Godunov. For the history buff: The Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte.

4. A User’s Manual for the Future

Here we can only suggest one book, a book that should be on the wish list of every American citizen: Dare to Succeed: How to Survive and Thrive in the Game of Life by Mark Burnett, producer of Survivor, The Apprentice, and the 2017 Presidential Inauguration. With a publication date of September 12, 2001, how can this book not be relevent to The Present Emergency?
Sample Sentence: “It sounds crass to use this term, but I knew I had come to a time in my life when having balls counted for everything.”

5. Compassion is free.

*Image credit: Jacob Zaborowski

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